I Surrender…


Two words that I am repeating as a mantra the last few days. The last week has been a turbulent one I must say. It felt like a emotinal high intensity time with endings, new beginnings and a sense of emptiness on the background. After launching my new website and blog, I cleaned my whole house and created a new space. This also motivated me to clean my inner space. To let go of what’s no longer serving me. So I chose to consciously let go off one habit and create a new one that’s in alignment with my highest good. ‘I surrender’ are the two words that are helping me in letting go and reprogramming my body and mind. At the beginning of a new year many of us choose to set a goal and often times it’s about letting go of a habbit, creating a more healty, balanced, abundant and happy life. I notice while releasing my habbits my body and mind who are used to a certain way of living come in a state of resistance when I change my moves, my way of thinking and my way of doing. I often time ask myself the question: Why do I sense resistance if I know deep down that the change is for my highest good. I know that eating healthier gives me more energy and I feel more vibrant. I know that through excersizing I receive more mental clarity and strengthen and shape my body. I decided once to meditate every day for 20 minutes. I know from experience that this gives me more inner peace, a better sense of centeredness, clarity, relaxation, energy, a stronger connection with my higher self and so much more. Knowing this out of experience…why… realy why.. do I sense resistance if it’s the third day and I ‘have to’ sit down for 20 minutes:-) I just wonder? There is always this visitor showing up with a beautiful name: RESISTANCE, to become friends with. My habbit is to resist resistance, hahaha, what a paradox. The essence is that on that moment I resist what Is. When the desire to continue the habbit comes up I am fighting mentally and physically with it. “I am not allowed to want it, think it and feel this”. Besides the mental quirrel I sense it physically. My muscles contract. Other examples are that my hand unconsciously turnes into a fist, my breath becomes slightly on the surface, my schoulders and jaw become thight and my solar plexus (stomic) becomes tense. By saying my mantra ‘I surrender’, the fighting stops, the resistance stops. I open myself and the sensations in my body change. Contraction turnes into openess. Stagnant turnes into flowing. Fear changes into Love. A new state of harmony is realized. Even if it’s just for a few seconds. Harmony was there for a moment and allowing becomes a new practise. Allowing what is….welcoming it. Not fighting, or turning my back to it but opening my arms and heart for it. Time after time. Turning the fist into an open hand. Just for now, try it, get a sense of it. Make a strong fist with one hand. Very thight and sense the energy of resistance…. Now open your hand, palm up….sense and breath. Be with it. What do you feel now and where do you feel it? Out of my own experience by welcoming the resistance, the fear, or any emotion….it disappears! Just like that. We are true magicians you know!

The soul-mate of resistance named ACCEPTANCE is the way to bring harmony. It brings me into the now, present with what is. I experience acceptance as warm, loving and most of all opening. In the last week while paying attention to my ‘pyshical resistance symptons’ I noticed more moments of resisting what is. It’s there…. just watch it. I am still surpriced how often this visitor appears. I would like to invite you to give yourself one day to notice your resistances. In one day I could resist the alarm clock going off, a conversation I was in, making a phonecall, sending an email, cooking, even dancing… so much resistance. It made it very clear that resistance is the jumping off place for experiencing Love, Self-love.

Everytime when I have a craving, a desire, a tention that’s not in alignment with my higher good or my intention, I say: ‘I surrender’. And it feels like a warm stream of water running down via my heart, arms, hands, through my legs and feet into the earth. And it relaxes, opens me for the moment. Being with….instead of fighting against. You can apply this to every life situation. 

I also sense by using the mantra ‘I surrender’ support from something greater then me. Before I choose to let go of something I ask the angels or the universe to support me, to help me to let go with ease and grace. I trust this higher power and it’s support. The knowingness that I am not doing it alone and being supported makes the matra even more powerful to me. The power of change increases. Asking for support….another thing I am learning to empower and embody mySelf. So transformation for me is embracing resistance and embodying acceptance and surrender. 

In Nia™ (a body centered movement practise I teach) we work with nine movement forms. One of them is Aikido and this a perfect movement form to transform resistance. Nia™ discribes Aikido as: ‘Harmonious Spherical Motion’. While practising it, it represents: going with the flow, flowing, constant motion, dancing with what is, circulair, using what is for your own benifit, sensing harmony, being open, receptive and moving from center. These are the qualities you can sense within your body if your are in acceptance. I am checking in through the day. Am I open? Are my joints open? My muscles? Is energy flowing through my body or is there a place that is in resistance and creating a blockage.  Breathing to this specific area is one of the tools I use to open it up again. Visualizing a door or window opening is another tool, but being present with it is often already enough. Just notice what happens if you even add a mantra to it! Stand up, sense it…move it …in your living room or where ever you are. 

What are you resisting? How does resistance feel in your body? and what helps you in becoming open…becoming acceptant? Let’s play with it! 

There are two books I can recommeand when you would like to play more with resistance and acceptance: opening yourself for change. 

1) The Anatomy of Change, A Way to Move Through Life’s Transitions, by Richard Strozzi Heckler

2) The Sedona Method, Your Key to Lasting Happiness, Success, Peace and Emotional Well-Being, by Hale Dwoskin – 

PS: and when you choose to go back for a moment to your old habbit or addiction. Know that it is the ‘jumping off place’ for creating what you truly desire, over and over again. A place that invites you to even love yourself more so you can guide change with gentleness. 

In Love and light,



One thought on “I Surrender…

  1. Love your blog, Esther. “I surrender” is a great mantra to hold close to the heart. Resistance is futile…it only creates more resistance (as you mention in your blog). Nia has helped me in more ways than I can count with “letting go”, with the whole “I surrender” mantra. Thank you!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s